Hearthaven Publishing

12 Step Materials for the Latter-day Saint Community

I once heard the question asked, “Are you coming to God because you love Him, or because you want to use Him?”

That seemed like a pretty rude question, and at first I was offended. But when I stopped to give it some reflection, applying it and pondering on it in the light of truth about my own life, I had to admit it was grounded in truth.

I felt chastened as I realized that my motives for turning to God over my life had almost always been motivated by something I wanted or needed Him to do for me.  I had to ask myself if I could picture seeking to pray—focusing on the Lord and seeking His words to me—simply because I wanted to hang out with Him. It was painful to me to realize that all too often, I would just as soon stay at a distance from the Presence of God unless I needed His help—and even then I tried to be self-sufficient and only turn to Him if I was desperate and had no other choice.

Wow, what a shock it was to me to realize that God was always at the bottom of my choice of friends!

And the whole time, what God (both Father and Elder Brother) wanted is for me to come to Them. “Come here, child. Come here, little one. Come here, beloved sister. Let us encircle you in our arms of love. Come closer. It isn’t just your obedience we desire, it is your love. We want to have a close, intimate, heart-to-heart relationship with you.”

I can’t express what a difference it has made in my life to open my heart and mind to this “mighty change” in my orientation toward God.  Today, I don’t come to God just because He commands me to or because I want something from Him. Today, I realize that I am the one who decides, hour by hour, what my relationship with my Father and my Savior will be. They love me beyond reason—always have and always will. They enjoy me, little child that I am, and rejoice that am learning to enjoy Their Presence in my life.

~Colleen H.

©2012 Hearthaven Publishing. All rights reserve.

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