Facing the Ugly Truth and Being Set Free
Lust is an ugly word. And the ugly reality is that I am a lustful person. Not for sex, mind you, but for many other things—a thinner body; a better past; a less challenging present; a fantasy future. Fattening foods. (Now that one really gets me in trouble when...
Healing From the Inside Out—A Metaphor
I had an old van once. It was a very old van that would hold 14 people—twelve of them children. You can imagine that with twelve kids running around and through and sometimes over and under that van, it ended up with a lot of dents and scrapes and dings. It looked...
There Is No Other Way But The Way of Imperfection (Part 2)
Read Part 1 Yesterday, we discussed how recovery often comes in an ebb and flow pattern of sanity and serenity. We find peace through Christ, and then we wander off to try life on our own again. I have to confess that it has been very hard for me to accept that is is...
There Is No Other Way But The Way of Imperfection (Part 1)
I have found that peace which passeth understanding, which only Christ can give (Philippians 4:7). In Him I have found a perfect brightness of hope that shines through even the deepest darkness. I have sanity and serenity because of His living presence in my life. (He...
A Gift Beyond Compare
With today being Pioneer Day, a day we celebrate the long, cross-country journey of the early Saints, I started thinking about how difficult that would have been. Here they are, setting off into an unsettled wilderness, not really knowing where they were going to end...
Abstinence: It Takes Time
We think that the mighty change of heart is going to mean an immediate mighty change of habit. The truth is that there is a distance to go between the heart, which is the seat of our desires and willingness, and the brain, which is the seat of our habits. We often...
Sincerely
“And you are sincere—heartbreakingly sincere. But repeat them you do. And you do. And you do.” (Karlene B, He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, p. iii) The word that really stands out to me in this quote is “sincere.” I can’t tell you how sincerely I want to behave...
God Changes Us From the Inside-Out
The inclinations of my heart are changing—from the inside out. Leaving behind my addiction is not an exercise of willpower or even a deliberate choice. It’s deeper than that. It’s simply a feeling of not being interested or inclined to do the thing that for years and...
God’s Love Changes the Prodigal
I have always thought of myself as a “good son”—well, daughter, actually, but you know what I mean. I went to church every Sunday, attended the temple, paid my tithing, fulfilled my callings. I’ve done a lifetime of good works, of “good son” activities. But none of...
Navigating the Ripples
I have a friend who lives just down the road from a large and lovely lake. When I visit her, I often take my morning walk to the lake and back. I like to pause above the lake, to feel the breeze as it skims across the water and blows through my hair, to smell the tang...
We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets
Secrecy fuels addiction. Every addict knows this. Every Latter-day Saint knows this, too. The Doctrine and Covenants tells us, “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43). (emphasis added) If we...Why Do You Come to the Lord?
I once heard the question asked, “Are you coming to God because you love Him, or because you want to use Him?” That was a rude question. And at first I was offended. But then I gave it some reflection. I pondered on it and wrote about it in the context my...
Will You Not Watch with Me One Hour?
A fellow addict once mentioned how much he wished he could have, personally, what he hears in my posts. That troubled me for a bit. I am uncomfortable with the idea that I am someone special; that others cannot have the thoughts or the insights that I share in He Did...